May 31, 1985
To My Little Girl (6 months old):
Since you were born, I have undergone a gradual transformation. What has changed is my entire definition of self – the way I view myself. The change is imperceptible to others. I look, dress, and act the same as I always have, but I feel different.
I had a beautiful childhood. I felt safe in the knowledge that my parents loved me. This was, for me, a protective shield. My memories of those days are vivid and happy. I can still remember jumping in bed with my dad on Sunday mornings and the way he would turn and smile and wrap me up in his massive arms. I remember him lifting me gently and carrying me off to bed at night, and clinging to him, my head on his shoulder, pretending to be asleep. I remember our baseball games in the backyard and how proud I was that my dad was the one teaching us how to hit, field, and throw. I remember our man-to-man talks and how important I felt as my dad listened intently to my thoughts. In my eyes, my dad was of heroic proportions, fearless and strong, yet kind and wise. Today I not only remember those times with my dad, I feel them.
Now I walk into your room. It is dark and you are crying. You reach for me and I lift you out of your crib and hold you in my arms. You cling to me. Although you are still whimpering, you smile. I talk to you softly and turn to gaze into the mirror on your closet door. Through the dim light, I look at myself and see my dad.
What’s wrong with this picture? . . .
The First International Conference on Shared Parenting” has published a “Research Consensus Statement” following a July, 2014 conference organized by the International Council on Shared Parenting (ICSP). In their report, the experts concluded that shared parenting is in the best interest of the majority of children whose parents divorce. Psychology Today refers to the study as “groundbreaking” . . .
Really? Should be we surprised that the “International Conference on Shared Parenting” would conclude that shared parenting is a good thing? Isn’t that a little like the “Conference for Legalization of Marijuana” concluding that marijuana should be legalized? It doesn’t mean they’re wrong. It’s just that their conclusions are . . . well . . . not all that astounding. I mean, hey, is the Council on Shared Parenting going to say that shared parenting is harmful?
I’m all for shared parenting. But I also believe that in determining an appropriate parenting plan, the Court should make its decision on a case-by-case basis, without the use of blanket presumptions. Where children are involved, a one-size-fits-all approach is not always wise.
This “groundbreaking” conference was organized by the “International Council on Shared Parenting” – that, in itself, could lead one to believe that the findings may have been tainted by bias.
. . . Just saying . . .
The Law Office of Gary J. Frank has been a fixture in the Biltmore area of Phoenix, Arizona for over thirty years. Gary Frank is a Family Law litigator, a mediator, and a former Judge Pro Tem. Our firm handles a wide array of cases, such as divorce, domestic partnerships, custody, relocation, paternity, child and spousal support, division of property and businesses, modification and enforcement actions, grandparent and non-parent rights, and all matters relating to families and children. If you are in need of a consultation, please do not hesitate. Contact us today. You can reach us by telephone at 602-383-3610, or by email at [email protected], or through our website at www.garyfranklaw.com. We’d be honored to help