THE THREE MAJOR BENEFITS OF MEDIATION IN FAMILY LAW CASES

  1. Saves Time and Money

Mediation is almost always significantly quicker and less expensive than litigation. For divorce and custody cases, or any other type of dispute, mediation is a more peaceful and cost effective alternative.  In mediation, a mutually acceptable resolution can often be reached in a day, or in a few sessions over the course of a number of weeks. In contrast, litigation can drag on for months or even years. In litigation, communication typically takes place between the attorneys by letters or emails, and disputes are resolved in court hearings before a judge, causing lengthy delay. On the other hand, Mediation’s efficient approach to information-gathering and decision-making allows for rapid progress to be made. If an issue or a dispute arises in mediation, it can be addressed immediately, while the session is taking place.

The quick timeframe of mediation can also shorten the amount of time that family members have to endure the stress and anxiety of unresolved issues and unknown futures, and it can save tens-of-thousands of dollars in attorney fees and litigation expenses. This is a huge benefit of mediation.

  1. Reduces Stress

In most situations, mediation is far less stressful than litigation. The main reason for this is because mediation is conducted in a neutral setting, like a mediator’s office or conference room (or these days, even by Zoom), rather than in a courtroom. And the mediator is a professional neutral who does not represent either party. The mediator does not have the power of a judge and cannot impose a judgment on either of the parties. His/her only job is to help the parties reach a mutually acceptable resolution. Most of the time, the mediator, the parties, and their attorney (if they have one) will sit in one room around a table and discuss all of the issues. In more high conflict situations, the mediator may place both parties in separate rooms, and go back and forth between them to try to negotiate a solution without any direct contact between the parties.

Another reason that mediation is less stressful is because there is much more flexibility than in litigation. This flexibility allows for a cooperative approach rather than a combative engagement where everyone is left feeling exhausted and frustrated.

  1. You Remain in Control

Mediation is a voluntary and confidential process where the parties participate in the discussions and decisions. The mediator is acting as a facilitator and not as a judge, and either party is free to walk away at any time if they decide they no longer wish to participate. This gives each party a real sense of control, as opposed to litigation, where getting up and walking away is not an option and a judge has the power to impose a solution on the parties that neither of them may be happy about.

I recently went in front of a judge who told my client and the opposing party, “I don’t know you, and I don’t know anything about your family. If you proceed with litigation, I will listen to you both for probably a total of 3 hours at trial, and then I will have to decide how your property is divided and how you raise your children. If you can resolve this outside of court, you will save time, money, and stress, and most importantly, you will have some say in the outcome.” — This really resonated with my client, and quite frankly it resonated with me. Mediation allows for both parties to have control over the process and the result. This control can be extremely empowering. A mediator will work with both parties to help them make decisions that are in the best interests of their family.

The bottom line is this: If parties are able to negotiate a mutually acceptable agreement in mediation, they tend to be happier with the outcome and are far less likely to return to court for future disputes and have to spend money on attorneys and courtroom battles.

At the Law Office of Gary J. Frank P.C., our attorneys are experienced mediators who can explore options and help parties negotiate an agreement peacefully and less expensively. When we are not acting as mediators, but rather representing clients in litigation, we often recommend that they participate in mediation with another experienced mediator. In that setting, we can appear with our client at the mediation and help them negotiate an agreement from a position of knowledge and strength.

If you are interested in mediating your Family Law dispute, feel free to call us today.

By Logan Matura

 

At the Law Firm of Gary J. Frank P.C., our Arizona Family Law Attorneys Gary Frank, Hanna Amar, and Logan Matura are strong litigators and compassionate counselors. Gary Frank is a Phoenix Family Law Attorney with over 30 years of experience as a litigator and mediator. He has also acted in the capacity of a Judge Pro Tempore in the Maricopa County Superior Court, and served on the Governor’s Child Abuse Prevention Task Force. Law firm Partner, Hanna Amar is a highly-skilled Arizona Family Law Attorney with a passion for Family Law and children’s issues. She has extensive courtroom experience, and is also a certified mediator. Hanna has also acted as the President of the Young Lawyer’s Division of the Maricopa County Bar Association. Associate Attorney Logan Matura is an Arizona Family Law Attorney who received her Juris Doctor degree from New York Law School in Manhattan, NY. While in law school, she served as an intern for a Family Court judge in the Bronx, NY, and was a member of the Family Attorneys Mobilizing club. Logan is passionate about children and families, and provides expert representation for her clients. Our firm handles Family Law cases in the areas of divorce, custody (now called “Legal Decision-Making and Parenting Time), relocation (move-away), division of property, spousal and child support, modification actions, enforcement actions, grandparent and step-parent and non-parent rights, as well as other matters pertaining to families and children. If you are in need of a consultation, call us today at 602-383-3610; or you can contact us by email through our website at www.garyfranklaw.com.   We look forward to hearing from you.

What You Post on Social Media CAN Hurt You In a Family Law Case

These days, most teens and adults have at least one social media page, whether it be on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, TikTok, LinkedIn, or some other platform. Since so many adults have social media accounts, many attorneys have witnessed mistakes that have been made on social media which negatively impacted their family law case. In fact, we have won cases for our clients simply because of what an opposing party, in a moment of anger, posted on their social media.

You may wonder how what you post online can have a negative impact on your divorce or custody case. I’ll give you a few examples, some of which are based off of real cases that our firm has handled in the past:

  • In a spousal maintenance case, a husband claimed to be earning very little income, yet he posted on Match.com that he earned over $150,000 per year. This post was then used against him to show that he made more than he originally said he did.

 

  • In a custody case, a mother who denied doing drugs and partying was posting photos on Instagram in which she was at bars and nightclubs holding bottles of alcohol with others doing drugs in the background. This was then used against her in court when determining parenting time and legal decision making.

 

  • In a divorce case that started off amicably, a husband ranted on Facebook about his soon to be ex-wife after a heated argument. A mutual friend screenshotted the post and sent it to the wife, who became enraged and decided she no longer wanted to be amicable. This led to a litigation that went on for years and cost a great deal of money for both parties.

 

  • A mother posted photographs on Instagram of herself and her young daughter with Mother’s new boyfriend. An investigation turned up that the man had a long criminal record, including convictions for domestic violence and child abuse. Needless to say, the mother lost custody of that child.

 

  • In a high-conflict custody matter, an angry father made threats against the mother on his Facebook page, which resulted in the Court awarding mother sole custody with only limited supervised visitation for Father.

 

If you are active on social media, it’s important to learn the best practices while going through a family law case. Here are some important tips:

  1. Be careful who you add and accept on social media. We all want to have lots of friends and followers on social media, but some of these “friends” can hurt you. That follow-request that you accepted, despite not really knowing who they are, could be a private investigator or your ex on a burner account trying to see your posts. Consider making your accounts private and be careful whose requests you accept.
  2. Remove your ex from your social media page and consider removing their family and friends too. It is not uncommon for one of these types of “friends” or followers to pass along a copy of your comments or photos, and before you even suspect it, that post shows up in court and is used as evidence against you at trial. These types of “friends” or followers are often the ones who are looking into everything you say or do on social media and trying to find something damaging to your case.
  3. Don’t post when you are angry. Nothing good can come from posting while you are angry. Try and channel your anger into something positive, or vent to family, friends, or a mental health specialist. If you are concerned that you can’t control your posts when you are angry, it may be wise to take a break from social media until your case is over.
  4. Do not talk badly about your ex or their family and friends. It’s easy sometimes in the heat of the moment to post something negative about your ex. It may not even be something that is obviously towards them but could be something subtle and passive aggressive. These comments could be taken out of context, or otherwise used against you in a court hearing. No matter how subtle you think the message may be, it is never a good idea to post things about your ex or their family and friends.
  5. Do not talk badly about yourself, your family or friends, or provide information that could possibly be reflect negatively on you. Just as you shouldn’t post about your ex and their family and friends, you shouldn’t post about yourself and your family and friends either. Again, things can be misconstrued. I recently saw an old friend post something on Twitter to the effect of “the last year has taught me that nobody hates me more than I hate me.” If they were in a family law case, this post would absolutely be used against them, even if they were just joking and did not actually mean what they wrote.
  6. Do not post comments or photos of yourself, your family, or your friends doing anything illegal or which may appear to be illegal, inappropriate, or compromising. This pretty much speaks for itself, but don’t post anything that would very clearly negatively reflect on you, your family, or your friends. There is just no need to post the pictures of you at your office holiday party taking tequila shots with your boss. Keep those for yourself—or maybe don’t take those pictures at all.
  7. Do not post about your children. If you have kids, it’s best to keep them off of your social media pages altogether at this time. Of course, you should continue to share special moments and take photos with your kids. However, it may be beneficial to take a break from posting about them on social media until your case is over. While photos of you and your kids or posts about them may be totally acceptable at any other time, while there is a case going on, you are under a microscope. Certain photos could be misinterpreted or there could be something in them you don’t even notice that could be used to call your parenting into question. The same goes for the stories you tell or comments you make about your kids—you just never know how something may be interpreted.
  8. Do not post about your income, or really anything about money, at all. There is nothing good that can come from writing about your income or your money on social media! It’s really as simple as that!
  9. Do not discuss your case publicly on social media. Again, nothing good can come from posting about your case publicly on social media. It will not look good for you with the judge, and as always, something may be misinterpreted or taken the wrong way by your ex or their lawyer.
  10. Do not post information about conversations with your attorney. This could be construed as a waiver of your attorney-client privilege, making admissible things that were said in confidence to your lawyer. Just don’t do it!

Social media can be a really fun part of our lives. But as you can see, it can significantly impact many areas of a family law case in a negative way. As a rule of thumb, if you wouldn’t want a judge or your ex’s attorney seeing the post or photo, don’t post it! And if you are questioning whether you’d be okay with them seeing the post or photo, just don’t post it!

By Logan Matura

 

At the Law Firm of Gary J. Frank P.C., our Arizona Family Law Attorneys Gary Frank, Hanna Amar, and Logan Matura are strong litigators and compassionate counselors. Gary Frank is a Phoenix Family Law Attorney with over 30 years of experience as a litigator and mediator. He has also acted in the capacity of a Judge Pro Tempore in the Maricopa County Superior Court, and served on the Governor’s Child Abuse Prevention Task Force. Law firm Partner, Hanna Amar is a highly-skilled Arizona Family Law Attorney with a passion for Family Law and children’s issues. She has extensive courtroom experience, and is also a certified mediator. Hanna has also acted as the President of the Young Lawyer’s Division of the Maricopa County Bar Association. Associate Attorney Logan Matura is an Arizona Family Law Attorney who received her Juris Doctor degree from New York Law School in Manhattan, NY. While in law school, she served as an intern for a Family Court judge in the Bronx, NY, and was a member of the Family Attorneys Mobilizing club. Our firm handles Family Law cases in the areas of divorce, custody (now called “Legal Decision-Making and Parenting Time), relocation (move-away), division of property, spousal and child support, modification actions, enforcement actions, grandparent and step-parent and non-parent rights, as well as other matters pertaining to families and children. If you are in need of a consultation, call us today at 602-383-3610; or you can contact us by email through our website at www.garyfranklaw.com.   We look forward to hearing from you.

 

It Does Not Take Two To Tango — Dealing Personality Disorders

Most people think that a “high-conflict divorce” necessarily involves two people who are angry and unreasonable. But that’s not always the case. When one party to a divorce suffers from a borderline, narcissistic, or other type of personality disorder, he or she can pull the entire family into a “knock-down/drag-out” litigation.  A person with a personality disorder often lacks basic compassion and/or the willingness to compromise for the benefit of the children.  He or she may be driven by revenge or the desire to inflict emotional pain and suffering — and appealing to this person’s sense of reason and logic is of no avail.  This may make it difficult or impossible to negotiate a fair settlement, leaving no alternative but to go to trial.  Our firm brings many different strategies to the table when dealing with an opposing party with a personality disorder. For instance, sending out subpoenas for medical or counseling records will allow us to obtain important information on the person’s physical and psychological background; Drug testing may be warranted if there is a history of drug or alcohol abuse; A deposition can give us great insight into the mind of the person being deposed — it can enable us to obtain admissions of guilt, and it will also give us clues which may lead to other critical information that can be successfully utilized at trial; And the appointment of court experts to conduct interviews, mental health evaluations, or family assessments can prove to be of great value in diagnosing a personality disorder that may not have previously been formally discovered. These are a few of the many strategies we typically employ in high-conflict Family Court litigation involving people who may have personality disorders. If you find yourself in this situation, then you’ll need a strong advocate — an attorney who will fight hard to protect your interests. If you are in need of a consultation, Contact us today.

 

The Law Office of Gary J. Frank has been a fixture in the prestigious Biltmore area of Phoenix, Arizona for over thirty years.  Gary Frank and Hanna Amar are strong Family Law litigators and mediators with a wealth of experience both in the courtroom and in settlement negotiations.  Our firm handles a wide array of cases, such as divorce, custody, relocation, paternity, child and spousal support, division of property and businesses, modification and enforcement actions, grandparent and non-parent rights, same sex divorce and custody, and all matters relating to families and children.  If you are in need of a legal consultation, please do not hesitate to Contact us today.  You can reach us by telephone at 602-383-3610, or by email at [email protected] and [email protected], or through our website at www.garyfranklaw.com.  We’d be honored to help you.

HOW TO USE AN ATTORNEY AS A CONSULTANT, AND SAVE MONEY

It is true that a lawyer can provide useful legal advice, helpful guidance, and strong representation for anyone involved in a Family Law case,  However, not everyone chooses to retain and attorney — and not everyone can afford one.  Fortunately, there are a number of options for obtaining the services of an attorney, and some of those options are very affordable.  One of the most effective, and least expensive, ways to utilize an attorney is to use him or her as a consultant on an as-needed basis.
OBTAINING A LEGAL CONSULTATION
Representing yourself in a contested Family Law action presents an enormous challenge.  Parties to litigation are expected to understand the law and rules of Family Law procedure.  The fact that you are a layman, and not a lawyer, is no excuse for violating procedural rules.  Imagine trying to play in a basketball game without knowing the rules.  The coach calls your name, but when you walk on the court you don’t know how to dribble or pass the ball, or even which basket to shoot at.  That’s the kind of disadvantage you have when you walk into a courtroom as a “pro se” (self-represented) litigant.  You may wind up losing your case without ever knowing why, or how, it happened.  Obviously, it is best to be represented by legal counsel.  But not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to afford to retain an attorney on an ongoing basis.  So, what is the next best thing?  Seek a one-time consultation with an attorney.  In that meeting, which customarily takes place in the lawyer’s office, you will have the opportunity to discuss your specific matter with an expert.  The attorney will describe how the court process works and talk to you about your legal rights. He or she can help you identify the documents (called “exhibits”) and the witnesses that you will need to prove your case.  The attorney can also devise a “game plan” and help you map out a strategy for making a strong argument in court.  This is the time to ask questions, so that you can feel confident going forward.  When the consultation is over and you walk out of that lawyer’s office you should have a much better idea of the law, your legal rights, and how to present your case in the best possible light.
FOLLOW-UP CONSULTATIONS
During the course of the litigation (which can last for several months, or even a year or more) new issues, and new questions, will likely arise.  When this happens, you can follow up by obtaining additional consultations with an attorney, as necessary.  It is important to remember that since the attorney is not representing you in the litigation, he or she will have no obligation to stay updated with the facts and legal issues of your case or perform work on your behalf.  However, by using an attorney to provide you with basic advice from time to time, you will still be far better off than if you were to try to figure things out by yourself, without any legal guidance.
ASSISTANCE IN PREPARING FOR MEDIATION OR SETTLEMENT NEGOTIATIONS
Parties to a divorce or custody dispute would be well-advised to explore the possibility of resolving their issues through mediation or settlement negotiations, rather than fighting it out in court.  No matter how strong your case may be, there is always a risk that the judge might see things differently, and you may lose.  Resolving the case through negotiation gives you the opportunity to carve out the terms of your own agreement, rather than allowing a judge to decide what is best for you and your family.  People who are able to negotiate their own agreement tend to be happier with the arrangement.  Why?  Because it is their agreement.  They made it.  And they “own” it.  It wasn’t imposed upon them by a judge who is a stranger to the parents and the children.
Although mediation (or a settlement conference) is a great alternative to battling it out in court, many people reduce their chances for success by walking into the negotiation session without proper preparation.  This is a serious mistake.  In that meeting you will be dealing with crucial issues, such as custody of children, legal decision-making, parenting time, financial support, and division of property.  Lack of preparation could cause you to overlook things that are important, or it could lead you to make compromises that are not in your best interest.  Not being prepared could also cause you to become so fearful of making a bad deal that you are unable to make a deal at all — and then you miss an opportunity to avoid a contentious trial and reach an agreement that is fair for everybody.  These types of mistakes, due to lack of preparation, can have drastic long-term consequences.   As the old saying goes, “Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.”
For an affordable fee you can obtain a consultation with an attorney to help you prepare for your upcoming mediation or settlement conference.  The attorney will review your legal paperwork, financial documents, and/or other important information, and talk to you about the facts of your case, as well as your needs, your goals, and your wishes.  The attorney can also help you formulate your settlement position and devise a negotiating strategy.  By the time you walk out of that lawyer’s office, you should feel more confident in your ability to negotiate on your own behalf.
USING AN ATTORNEY TO HELP YOU PREPARE DOCUMENTS
For someone going through a simple uncontested divorce, the Maricopa County Superior Court Self Service Center provides forms that can be downloaded online, for free.  These forms can be found at www.superiorcourt.maricopa.gov/ssc.  Hard copies of the forms can be picked up at the courthouse.  However, figuring out how to fill out those forms and navigate your way through the court process can be a daunting and confusing task.  A certified document preparer can fill out your forms but is not allowed to give you legal advice. On the other hand, for the price of an affordable consultation, you can meet with a licensed attorney who will not only check to make sure you have filled out your forms properly, but will also explain your legal rights and describe how the court process works.  You may not have the resources to retain an attorney on an ongoing basis in your Family Law matter, but by using an attorney from time-to-time as a consultant you will have an expert to help guide you through the process.
YOU CAN AFFORD AN ATTORNEY
Utilizing an attorney as a consultant on an as-needed basis allows you to control your costs.  For someone who does not wish to hire a full-time attorney, or for someone who cannot afford one, obtaining legal consultations from time-to-time can pay great dividends.  The attorney can assist you in many ways, including explaining the law; advising you of your legal rights; guiding you through the court process; assisting you in planning your strategy; drafting motions or other documents that you may need to file; and helping you to prepare for mediation, court hearings and/or the trial.  Using an attorney as a consultant is an affordable option, and a very good one.
Gary J. Frank is an attorney and mediator with over thirty years of Family Law experience in dealing in divorcecustody, and parenting issues. For many years he acted as a Judge Pro Tempore in the Maricopa County Superior Court, which gave him an insight into the inner workings of the courts that many attorneys lack.  In addition to representing Family Law clients in litigation, we are also willing to help people by working with them on a Limited-Scope or Consultation-Only basis.  Our office is located in the Biltmore area of central Phoenix, with satellite offices in Scottsdale and Paradise Valley, Arizona.  We can be reached by telephone (602-383-3610); or by email at [email protected]  You can also reach us through our website at www.garyfranklaw.com.  If you are in need of a consultation regarding any area of Family Law, contact us today.  We’d be happy to help.

FIVE TIPS FOR MAKING A GOOD IMPRESSION IN COURT

When you walk into a courtroom for your divorce or custody trial, you are literally placing your future, and everything that is important to you, in the hands of a stranger.  The judge doesn’t know you, but over the next few hours she/he is going to listen to your testimony and consider the evidence you present – and weigh it against the testimony and evidence presented by your opponent.  Then the judge will make a ruling that could alter the course of your life in a good way – or maybe a not-so-good way.
Obviously, having an experienced, skillful attorney is critically important.  But is there anything that you, personally, can do to increase the odds of winning your case?  The answer is a resounding “Yes.”
Here are five tips for making a good impression in court:
1.         DRESS NICELY:      All your life, you’ve heard about “the importance of making a good impression.”  It has been repeated so often that it has pretty much become a trite phrase.  But ignore it at your peril – because that old, worn-out saying happens to be true.  Judges are human.  Your judge will form an impression of you, and the initial impression might be based on your appearance.  Whether that is fair or unfair – right or wrong – doesn’t matter.  It’s a fact.  So, why take a chance?  Dress nicely.  You don’t need to (and shouldn’t) look like you’re ready for a walk down the “Red-Carpet” – that would be overdoing it.  Just a clean, attractive attire is sufficient.  Something a judge would see as appropriate and respectful.  Why should you care?  Because it is the judge who will decide your fate.
2.           BE PREPARED:     There is no substitute for being prepared when you take the witness stand.  In Arizona, Family Law cases are tried to the judge.  In other words, your judge will be acting as both judge and jury.  The Family Court judge’s role is not only apply the law, but also to determine the facts.  You can increase your odds of prevailing by being well-organized and well-prepared.  If you are represented by counsel, your attorney will assist you in preparing for your case.  He or she should spend a great deal of time, before the trial, discussing your objectives, and preparing you for your testimony, so that you can effectively tell your story.  The attorney should also prepare you to withstand the opposing attorney’s cross-examination.  If you are well-prepared, you will be more confident, and you will be much more likely to create a good impression.
3.         BE ATTENTIVE:        Paying attention to the proceedings, and listening to what the attorneys and the judge are saying, can give you an important edge in your court case.  Trying to follow what is happening in the courtroom can give you important clues into what the judge is thinking, and the type of evidence that he or she is looking for.  When you know how the judge is leaning, or what she/he wants to hear, then you can make adjustments “on the fly” and tailor your presentation to achieve the best results.  Not uncommonly, it is the client who picks up on something important that her (or his) ex- says on the witness stand – and by pointing it out to the attorney, the client might be able to change the outcome of the case.  An attentive and engaged client can help the attorney immensely.  So be attentive.
4.         CONDUCT YOURSELF APPROPRIATELY:       How you conduct yourself in the courtroom can determine whether you win or lose.  Keep in mind that throughout the proceedings, the judge is sitting up there on the bench looking down at the participants — and watching you.  Your attorney may be making a strong legal argument, but if you are slouching in your chair, signaling to a spectator in the gallery, sending a text message on your cell phone, not paying attention, or acting in a manner that the judge feels is inappropriate, you are undermining your lawyer’s efforts to represent you.  There is one particular type of behavior that judges roundly hate:  and that is when a client sits at the table and makes faces as the opposing party testifies from the witness stand.  If you think that vigorously shaking your head or laughing derisively will help the judge understand that the other party is lying, you are dead-wrong.  This type of behavior is much more likely to turn the judge against you.  So when in the courtroom, conduct yourself appropriately at all times.
5.         CREDIBILITY IS THE KEY.            The most important asset you have in a court case is your integrity and your credibility.  Where two parties to a litigation are telling stories that are contradictory, a judge will tend to rule in favor of the litigant that is the most believable.  Have you ever watched Judge Judy, or another of the TV judge shows?  While those shows are not at all similar to a real court case, there is still something that can be learned from watching them.  The lure of these shows is that when you are watching the people present their cases, it is as though you are seeing the matter from the same perspective as the judge.  Two people come before the Court.  Each has a completely different story and we, the viewers, are the “trier of fact.”  We know that one of the parties is twisting the facts, but we don’t know which one.  We listen intently and try to determine the truth.  If one of the parties is caught in a lie, or if a party is unprepared and doesn’t seem to be consistent in reciting the facts, then we start thinking that this person cannot be believed.  On the other hand, if a party is well-organized and appears sincere, we tend to lean in her favor.  In the end, we will rule in favor of the person who seems to be telling the truth.  And that is what the judge will tend to do in your Family Law case.  I cannot emphasize enough the importance of telling the truth; of being well-prepared; and of dressing and acting appropriately and respectfully.  It all comes down to credibility.  When you step into that courtroom, make sure that you are the one the judge sees as being the most credible and believable litigant.

Hiring a strong, experienced attorney to represent you is important — but always keep in mind that you and your lawyer are a team.  You can help yourself, and increase the odds of winning your case, by simply making a good impression.

Gary J. Frank is a litigation attorney and mediator with over thirty years of Family Law experience in dealing in divorce, custody, and parenting issues. Mr. Frank has served on the Governor’s Task Force for Prevention of Child Abuse, and has received a Volunteer Lawyer award from the Maricopa County Bar Association for his work with children. For many years he acted as a Judge Pro Tempore in the Maricopa County Superior Court, which gave him an insight into the inner workings of the courts that many attorneys lack. He can be reached by telephone (602-383-3610); or by email at [email protected]; or through his website at www.garyfranklaw.com. If you are in need of a consultation regarding any area of Family Law, please do not hesitate to contact us today.

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