There’s A “Bright Side” To This Pandemic – Seriously!


Downtown Phoenix by sunset

In case you’re living under a rock, the whole world, including our country, has been taken over by COVID-19, better known as coronavirus. This virus came crashing down, in what felt like the blink of an eye, and it has altered how we live, how we think, and how we interact with our loved ones. The way we grocery shop has changed. The way we greet neighbors has changed. The way we celebrate holidays, the way we run our businesses, and the way we practice law have all changed.

It has been drastic for some, but the impact is being felt by all. Some are living in constant panic, while others believe it to be an overreaction. Some of our lives have been turned upside down by this new way of living, while others are angered that they are living in restriction. No matter how you feel, or what you believe to be right, one thing is certain: we can all choose to look on the bright side of this pandemic.

We are being forced to slow down. What’s the bright side? You finally have time to breathe. Life is full of chaos and stress, even without a pandemic. Many of us live our whole lives in a stressed state of mind, which leads to physical illness and overall lack of enjoyment of life. Pre-pandemic, if you wanted to slow down, you might have been criticized for being lazy. Now is an opportunity, without any judgment, to be slow, be present, be grateful, and breathe.

We are being forced to change the way we work. What’s the bright side? We are making significant modern-day changes to an old-time profession. Most attorneys do not work from home. Most attorneys do not videoconference their clients. Most attorneys are not cloud based. In a world where traveling the county and printing more paper than you can carry is on most of our job descriptions, these over-due changes may be the start of something new, and efficient, for our profession even after the pandemic has passed.

We are being forced to spend time with ourselves. What’s the bright side? You finally have the time to think about what actually makes you happy, what doesn’t make you happy, and to adjust your life accordingly. Before the pandemic, we took many things for granted. We made commitments we did not want to make, we spent time with people we did not want to spend time with, and many of us (especially if you are an attorney) put ourselves at the bottom of our priority list. Now is the time to make the change. Make self-care a priority. Make yourself a priority.

We are spending more time with our families. We are going outside for exercise instead of the gym. We are putting less pollution in the air. We are focusing more on our health. We are learning new things. We are reading more books. Some of us are undoubtedly living better lives.

This does not mean we are living at the expense of others. Those that have lost their lives due to this virus, and any virus or disease for that matter, are loved, respected, and remembered always. And what better way to honor those that have lost their lives than to appreciate and implement the knowledge, growth, and positive changes that came along with the loss?

This is still a pandemic. There is still great concern of what is happening in our world. And there is still the choice to be positive. There is always a bright side. And you can choose to ignore it if you want. But imagine how you can transform yourself, your happiness, and your way of life during these unprecedented times.

Hanna Amar


Hanna Amar is a partner at the Law Firm of Gary J. Frank P.C.  Both Gary Frank and Hanna Amar are strong litigators and compassionate counselors. Gary Frank is a Family Law Attorney with over 30 years of experience as a litigator and mediator. He has also acted in the capacity of a Judge Pro Tempore in the Maricopa County Superior Court, and served on the Governor’s Child Abuse Prevention Task Force. Hanna Amar is a highly-skilled attorney with a passion for Family Law and children’s issues. She has extensive courtroom experience, and is also a certified mediator. Hanna is the President of the Young Lawyer’s Division of the Maricopa County Bar Association.  Our firm handles Family Law cases in the areas of divorce, custody (now called “Legal Decision-Making and Parenting Time), relocation (move-away), division of property, spousal and child support, modification actions, enforcement actions, grandparent and non-parent rights, and all other matters pertaining to families and children. If you are in need of a consultation, call us today at 602-383-3610; or you can contact us by email through our website at   We look forward to hearing from you.

Working Dad’s Journal – Thoughts on Father’s Day

May 31, 1985

To My Little Girl (6 months old):

Since you were born, I have undergone a gradual transformation. What has changed is my entire definition of self – the way I view myself.  The change is imperceptible to others.  I look, dress, and act the same as I always have, but I feel different.

I had a beautiful childhood.  I felt safe in the knowledge that my parents loved me.  This was, for me, a protective shield.  My memories of those days are vivid and happy.  I can still remember jumping in bed with my dad on Sunday mornings and the way he would turn and smile and wrap me up in his massive arms.  I remember him lifting me gently and carrying me off to bed at night, and clinging to him, my head on his shoulder, pretending to be asleep.  I remember our baseball games in the backyard and how proud I was that my dad was the one teaching us how to hit, field, and throw.  I remember our man-to-man talks and how important I felt as my dad listened intently to my thoughts.  In my eyes, my dad was of heroic proportions, fearless and strong, yet kind and wise.  Today I not only remember those times with my dad, I feel them.

 Now I walk into your room.  It is dark and you are crying.  You reach for me and I lift you out of your crib and hold you in my arms.  You cling to me.  Although you are still whimpering, you smile.  I talk to you softly and turn to gaze into the mirror on your closet door.  Through the dim light, I look at myself and see my dad.


In 1962, eleven years before the court decided the landmark Rowe v. Wade case, Arizona was at the center of a national firestorm regarding the issue of abortion.  The controversy raged around Sherri Finkbine, a local television host on the kiddie program, “Romper Room.”  I was a young boy at the time and, like many other children, I had grown up in Phoenix watching the show.  I still remember Miss Sherri, with her magic mirror, her pretty smile, and her soothing voice.

The problem began when Sherri’s husband came back from a trip to Europe.  Sherri was pregnant with her fifth child; and when her husband returned he brought with him a bottle of pills to treat her morning sickness.  Neither Sherri, nor her husband, were aware that the medication contained Thalidomide, a popular drug in Europe and other countries, but one which was not widely used in the United States.  During the early stages of her pregnancy, Sherri took thirty-six of the pills.

That’s when the nightmare began.  News reports began filtering into the United States that Thalidomide had been found to cause gruesome birth defects in fetuses.  The media reported that Thalidomide babies were being born without arms or legs.  Sherri and her husband checked the medication that she had been taking and were horrified to discover that it, indeed, contained the dreaded Thalidomide.  In an instant, their once-happy lives were turned upside-down. 

Sherri’s physician discussed the almost certainty of incapacitating birth defects that the child would be likely to suffer for a lifetime, and he strongly recommended that she obtain a therapeutic abortion.  Abortions were illegal in the United States.  The alternative, one which many women chose at the time, was to undergo a secret “back-alley” abortion.  These were often performed by unethical and incompetent doctors out to make a buck, and they were highly dangerous.  Some were performed by people who were not physicians, and who had no medical training at all.  As a result, it was common for women to contract infections and became seriously ill, or die, following abortions.  That was the landscape in 1962.

Therapeutic abortions were considered to be a narrow exception, and could be performed in hospitals by doctors under very limited circumstances.  Based on her doctor’s recommendation, Sherri prepared herself for a therapeutic abortion.  She was concerned that other women who were taking — or might take — Thalidomide should be warned, so before undergoing the procedure she contacted a friend who worked at a local newspaper and related her story.  Sherri was promised anonymity.  But when the newspaper article hit the streets, her identity was disclosed.  The hospital at which the abortion was planned became skittish and backed off.  Fearing bad publicity and possible prosecution, it canceled the procedure.  Sherri’s physician asked for a court order to proceed with the abortion, and that’s when all hell broke loose.

Overnight, Sherri Finkbine, her husband, and her four children became public figures.  She was fired from her job at the television station.  Her children were tormented and bullied mercilessly at school.  Letters and hate mail came pouring in from all over the country, including more than a few death threats.  Ultimately, the FBI was brought in to protect the family.

Now desperate and terrified, Sherri attempted to travel to Japan to obtain the abortion, but was denied a visa by the Japanese Consul.  In the end, she flew to Sweden, where a legal abortion was performed in the twelfth week of her pregnancy.  The Obstetrician who performed the procedure later told Sherri and her husband that the fetus had no legs, and only one arm, and was too badly deformed to be identified as a boy or a girl.

More than fifty years later, the controversy over abortion is still raging.  Our nation has become bitterly polarized over the issue.  Are you Pro Life?  Or Pro Choice?  Should women have the right to make decisions concerning their own body?  Or do the rights of the unborn child trump the rights of the mother?  Should abortion be legal in cases of rape, incest, severe birth defects, or where the mother’s life is at risk?  Or are we willing to return to the days of illegal and dangerous back-alley abortions? These are matters of utmost importance.  But instead of engaging in a healthy dialogue, battle lines have been drawn.  Foxholes have been dug.  And rather than welcoming a productive discussion, people on both sides angrily ridicule and demonize each other.  Each side views the other as stupid or evil.  Maybe it’s human nature.  We like to look for simple answers.  And by delegitimizing those with whom we disagree, we are able to avoid the process of having to carefully examine and think through the issues.  But that’s too bad.  Because if we truly attempted to see the matter through our neighbor’s eyes then – even though we may still disagree — we just might be forced to conclude that there can be more than one legitimate point of view, and maybe then we could reach a reasonable consensus. 

Regardless of the many differing opinions on the subject, I think most would agree that no woman should ever have to suffer the agony, or be faced with the impossible choices, that Sherri Finkbine had to endure in 1962.

Gary Frank

At the Law Firm of Gary J. Frank P.C., both Gary Frank and attorney Hanna Juncaj are strong litigators and compassionate counselors. Gary Frank is a Family Law Attorney with over 30 years of experience as a litigator and mediator, which includes having acted in the capacity of a Judge Pro Tempore in the Maricopa County Superior Court; and serving on the Governor’s Child Abuse Prevention Task Force. Hanna Juncaj is a highly-skilled attorney with a passion for Family Law and children’s issues. We handle Family Law cases in the areas of divorce, custody (now called “Legal Decision-Making and Parenting Time), relocation (move-away), division of property, spousal and child support, modification and enforcement actions, grandparent and non-parent rights, and all other matters pertaining to families and children. If you are in need of a consultation, please do not hesitate to call our office at 602-383-3610; or you can contact us by email at [email protected], or through our website at   We look forward to hearing from you.


A brunette with perfectly applied lipstick holds a single finger to her lips in a “shh” motion. Her beautifully manicured hands display a golden wedding band. Next to her are the words “Life is short. Have an affair.”
This controversial logo represents Ashley Madison, an online dating service and social networking site marketed to people who are married or in a committed relationship. It offers affair guidelines and even provides advice on how to cover one’s tracks when pursuing an adulterous affair. In mid-August of this year, the identities of the 37 million users registered on the database were released by hackers. This release included data from customers who had paid a $19 fee to Ashley Madison to allegedly have their data deleted. Now, there are multiple online search engines allowing you to check if your data or the data of someone you know was leaked in the release.
As more high-profile names surface among the millions of users of Ashley Madison, speculation continues about the divorce consequences for the adulterous users of the site. It is a popular opinion that divorce rates will undoubtedly increase as more cheaters are exposed; but if they do, how will the matter be handled by the courts?
Actually, the consequences would have been greater under historical family laws, which governed a “fault” regime. For instance, back then, a divorce was only permissible if a spouse could prove one of several fault grounds; adultery was one of them. But today, in Arizona and many other states, a spouse can petition for a divorce without the necessity of proving fault on the part of the other spouse: Arizona requires only that the spouse cite an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.  Thus, Arizona is a “no-fault” divorce state.
In most divorces, property division and child custody are the primary concerns of the spouses. Under a “fault” regime, a cheating spouse may have had to pay in the property division or alimony award for an extramarital affair.  Today, however, Arizona and many other “no-fault” states do not consider who caused the breakdown of the marriage when dividing property; nor is “fault” a factor that the Court considers in determining spousal maintenance.  However, if the spouse implicated in the Ashley Madison leak misused marital finances (termed “community property” in the legal world), then economic fault can be a factor the Court considers in both the division of property and spousal maintenance. 
Regarding child custody (now called “legal decision-making and parenting time”), the court will rule based on what is in the best interests of the children. This is more of a “gray area,” or case-by-case situation, as it may be difficult to prove how the parent’s sexual activities negatively impacted the best interest of the children.  If it can be shown that a parent’s inappropriate behavior directly affected the children (such as taking them on dates, or exposing them to the paramour, etc.) then it is possible that the Court would consider the parent’s conduct in making a “custody” award.

If the Ashley Madison hack had happened in a previous era of family law, the evidence obtained would have been much more useful in initiating divorces and awarding assets to the “victimized” spouse. However today, due to the dominant “no-fault” regime of the United States, even if a spouse wanted to initiate a divorce based on the data from the Ashley Madison hack, it is unclear whether it would have much of an effect; since, aside from embarrassment, the cheating spouse would almost assuredly suffer less financial and custodial consequences than in earlier times.

G.Frank & J.Chen

Gary J. Frank is a Family Law Attorney, a litigator, and a mediator with over thirty years of experience in dealing with divorcepaternity, custody, and parenting issues. For many years he acted as a Judge Pro Tempore in the Maricopa County Superior Court, which gave him an insight into the inner workings of the courts that many attorneys lack.  In addition to representing Family Law clients in litigation, we are also willing to help people by working with them on a Limited-Scope or Consultation-Only basis.  Our office is located in the Biltmore area of central Phoenix, with satellite offices in Scottsdale and Paradise Valley, Arizona.  We can be reached by telephone (602-383-3610); or by email at [email protected].  You can also reach us through our website at  If you are in need of a consultation regarding any area of Family Law, contact us today.  We’d be happy to help.


Judy Lewis died of cancer last week, and the secret came spilling out.  She was the daughter of movie star Loretta Young and acting legend Clark Gable.  That was the secret, one which Loretta Young kept from the world — and even from her own daughter.
In the 1930’s Loretta Young and Clark Gable starred together in the movie “Call of the Wild.”  During the filming of that movie, the two had what would have been considered a lurid affair. Gable was married.  Young was a single woman and a devout Catholic.  When she discovered that she was pregnant, Young went to great lengths to hide the pregnancy in order to avoid a scandal.  A baby born out of wedlock to a Hollywood starlet would have been front-page news.
Loretta Young fled to Europe.  After the baby girl was born, she was kept sequestered with a nurse for months and then turned over to an orphanage.  When baby Judy turned two, she was adopted – by Loretta Young.  The child was never told that she was actually her mother’s biological daughter.  In fact, it was not until 1966, when Judy was 31 years old, that her mother divulged the secret to her — and Loretta Young insisted that her daughter keep quiet about her parentage.  By that time, Gable had died.  Twenty years later, during a heated argument between mother and daughter, Young threatened to sue Lewis if a book ever came out that revealed the truth.  The exchange ended with Young shouting, “Leave this house.  I never want to see you in my house again!”  
But Judy did write her memoir, which was finally published in 1994.  In it, she speaks of “all the years of hurt and abandonment, all the feelings of not belonging, of being an outsider in my own family, years of repressed emotions that couldn’t be contained any longer.”
While Loretta Young was alive, her daughter asked her if she would “ever acknowledge to the world that I am your child and that Clark Gable is my father?” 
The mother replied.  “No. I will never acknowledge what I consider a mortal sin – my mortal sin.”
But which was Loretta Young’s greatest sin?  A baby born out of wedlock – or thirty years of lying to, and deceiving, her own child?  
Gary Frank is an Arizona Family Law attorney with more than 30 years of experience in handling divorce, child custody, and all matters pertaining to children and families.  If you are in need of expert advice in the area of Family Law, please feel free to contact our office by phone at 602-383-3610; or by email at [email protected]; or you can reach us through our website at /

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